Is blogging for me or you? I haven't figured it out yet, and maybe there's no straightforward answer. All I know is that I need a vehicle for reflection, and it ain't happening in my journal anymore. I never use paper. Okay, that's an exaggeration; I use paper...sometimes. But I am always on my computer, so why not just post here. It's not like anyone is reading anyway.
This summer I had two surgeries in two weeks, back-to-back, but it's not as bad as it sounds. One was periodontal surgery, which was the worse of the two (partly because the doc accidentally, of course, nicked an artery on the roof of my mouth while removing the graft, and we didn't realize this until 7 hours, and what seemed like several pints of blood spit into the sink. I was trying hard not to get any blood anywhere on the carpet or bedding at my mother in law's house! So at 7PM that evening, my sweet husband had to drive me back to the doc's office to get 7 more stitches in my mouth. But that by far was the worst part of the surgery. Ibuprofen kept the pain and swelling at bay, and I actually lost some weight due to the liquid diet that I had to follow during the days after surgery.
Gillian says, "Don't drink your calories," but I say, "Don't eat your calories."
And the second surgery I had done was LASIK. I can already see more clearly that I have ever seen before. There was always a smudge or a fleck in my contacts or on my glasses, but now my vision is sharp and clear. The only drawback is in the mornings when I used to open my eyes to a blurry day before putting on my glasses. This would be when I could turn inward and reflect, but now, I open my eyes and BAM! There's your day right in front of you. And it usually takes the form of my youngest son who is always doing something goofy:
Because I am taking a class again this summer and trying to catch up on learning content in an area that I now teach but only took one class in during college, I am really neglecting my husband and kids. But fortunately my husband is saintly in his patience.
When I really think about the job that I have taken on, I realize that I must have been truly unhappy staying home. I mean, I had never taught technology before! But my friend, Deb, said, "You don't have to be that smart to teach at the middle school; you just have to have a sense of humor." That became my mantra for the school year. Because not one time this year did it matter that I could quote Shakespeare or lecture endlessly about theme in Joyce Carol Oates' "A Good Man is Hard to Find." All that mattered was, "Mrs. Demmert, my computer's not working" again!
Today, I went to church for the first time in months. Though I had to leave mid service (to spit more blood into the sink, which stopped to my relief after two small mouthfuls), I began to remember why I like going to church, for the beautiful singing, the message, and an excuse to open the Bible App I put on my iPhone. And most importantly, free babysitting!
Because I have missed so much church this year, it has given me a chance to notice that Jesus is still always there, even though I haven't stepped near a church in ages. Yep, JC is with me always, but I suppose He does say that all the time, thematically as well as contextually and literally throughout his Big Blog.